Nurture21

Faith: 'The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen'. When I was 20 years old, I became unsettled. It started as a slow bubbling of discontent within me that churned away like an un-erupted volcano. I was at University just finishing my second year of my degree, I had every opportunity in front of me, the world at my feet. But it just didn't feel like enough. I felt I just couldn't see the point. I couldn't see the point in anything. This wasn't just a seasonal dip in mood, it wasn't a lack of direction, it was a soul searching that wouldn't leave me alone, one that kept me awake at night.  During a family holiday in Portugal that summer I stood in the middle of a market square and just cried, really sobbed, overwhelmed by something but not sure what. When my Aunty asked me what on earth was wrong, I simply replied, "I don't know, but I think it has something to do with God".  The drawing feeling and the pull towards ...

2008 was a bitter sweet year for me. It was the year I became a Mum and it was the year I lost my own Mum. My Mum missed meeting my daughter by five and a half weeks. I think we both kind of knew that it was never meant to be, but it remained a deep unspoken truth that hurt too much to voice. It was a remarkable thing really. My whole pregnancy was littered with poignant moments that seemed to tie my mum and my daughter together before she'd even entered the world. I remember an occasion when I was four months pregnant at my parents house; I was being sick in one bathroom due to my progressing pregnancy and my Mum was in a bathroom across the landing being sick due to her progressing cancer. The circle of life never more magnified than at that moment. My nine months of pregnancy mirrored nine months of deterioration in my Mum's health. During the last few hours of my Mum's life I sat next to her bed and placed her hand on my huge pregnant tummy. I watched the colour gradual...